I started coaching basketball since the first day I left Colgate University in 2011. The Athletic Director at Nardin Academy gave me my first coaching gig, and for that I thank her. When I was younger, I always wanted to coach basketball; however, I didn't know exactly what that meant. I thought that you ran various drills, gave encouragement, and demonstrated enthusiasm. A piece of cake, right? Growing up I participated in multiple summer and overnight camps, Elite Camps and a slew of others. I thought it was so cool to teach girls the game of basketball and not to mention all the coaches received some nice gear!
When I graduated from Colgate, in 2011 at age 20, I started off as the Freshman Basketball Coach at Nardin Academy. We won one game all season! I came in with very high expectations. With me playing Division I basketball, it was hard to coach girls who knew nothing about the game. They were just excited to be on a team. I accepted 15 girls that year. For any coach, you know 15 players on a team is a sign of disaster. These 15 girls who knew nothing about the game of basketball, fueled my energy for the rest of the season with their enthusiasm. Although it was frustrating to lose almost every single game, the girls had fun and they learned something new every week. I learned quickly that I had to be relatable to a group of 13 and 14 year old girls. I remember one practice, we were working on boxing out. They could not understand the concept. So, I made an analogy to twerking. Now, this is when twerking became a huge thing in pop culture, so don't judge me here. I told them to pretend like they were twerking at Charity Ball, which was the biggest fundraiser and city wide dance held at the Convention Center every year for high school students. Get low, bend your knees, and keep your hands ready. After that, they all knew how to box out! Still to this day, I have former players come up to me and say that was the best analogy ever used in basketball and that's how they learned how to box out. I think I should get some brownie points here.
The following season, I became the JV Assistant Coach, then the JV Head Coach the year after that. At that point, we became our division champions. Year four, I became the Assistant Varsity Coach. This was probably my best year coaching. I'll tell you why. By this time, I had most of the girls since they were freshman. We developed a rapport with each other and they trusted me. I also became more relatable over the years as we shared similar Nardin stories. Although I graduated years prior, Nardin had not changed much. After the season, I told the Varsity Head Coach at the time, and the girls that I was done coaching. By this time, I started night school for my MBA at SUNY University at Buffalo, became active within the Buffalo Urban League, and was trying to climb the corporate ladder at BlueCross BlueShield. So, I decided to step away.
Over the summer of 2015, I was approached by another private school to be their Varsity Head Coach. I muddled around with the opportunity for a few weeks; however, I decided to accept the job. I just couldn't step away from the game I love. I took a team from winning 2 games the previous season to 11 the next with the same schedule. In my eyes, that was a success. I had to instill discipline and a work ethic they'd never seen before. As a result, I battled parents, administrators, and the players. I decided it wasn't worth it. Needless to say, after I left, the team has never been the same. Nardin asked me to come back the following season as the Head Varsity Coach and I jumped at the opportunity.
The next 2 seasons as the Nardin Varsity Head Coach, I took the girls to the New York State Championship. The last time this was done was when I was a Senior at Nardin in 2007. Although we did not win, this was great exposure for the team.
Yes, while I was Nardin, I experienced push back from parents and even some players.
"You are working the girls too hard."
"Lay off of them a little."
"Wait, what? We don't have off the entire 2 weeks of Winter Break?"
I completely understand the "work hard, play hard" mentality. I would bring in cupcakes for the girls occasionally, give them Christmas gifts, provide pizza parties during their winter break, and cancel practice when I knew their homework was piling on. But sometimes this didn't seem to be enough. They EXPECTED this to be a weekly occurrence. Whenever coaching, I always compared it to life. Life doesn't hand you anything, you have to go out and get it. Yes, there is a time to rest, but there is a time to go all out! Nonetheless, I enjoyed coaching at Nardin.
So after this success, why did I not decide to return? When most people ask, my response is because I don't have the time. However, when I was coaching, I was working full time (received 4 promotions at BlueCross BlueShield), finished my MBA at University at Buffalo (which was at night), became the Event Planning Chair, Vice President, and then President of the Buffalo Urban League Young Professionals, Leadership Buffalo Participant (Rising Leaders Class 2013), and started my own Cupcake Business (Kendra's Cupcakes). I'm still doing most of these things, but realistically, I have more time now than before. But, what has changed? My mindset. Coaching basketball has made me evaluate my life, where I am, and where I'm headed. When you look at my volunteer work, it's about mentoring and having an influence on someone's life or a community. I give back because someone gave to me. Coaching basketball at the high school level was tough. By this time, girls are shaping to be young adults and they seem stuck in their ways. Today the "thing" that gets them stuck is mediocrity.
When I decided to step down as a high school basketball coach, I knew I would never stop having my hand in coaching or mentoring, which is missing from the game today. I can influence girls in many other ways. Every parent believes their girl is going to the WNBA. I've had fingers thrown in my face by parents, swear words yelled at me so close they I could smell what they had for dinner, and even my credibility, integrity, and education questioned. I even had a rumor started about me that I had a baby out of wedlock whom I passed off to someone else to take care of. All because I either pulled their daughter from a game, or they lost their starting position.
This is not what coaching is about. We live in an age where everyone receives a trophy or a pat on their back just for showing up. As I stated in one of my previous blogs, my dad deliberately stated to me, if I wanted to play basketball this is something that I had to work hard for. There was no wasting his time. So, when I got out on the court, mediocrity was not an option. When I played, although I was the best on the court, there were times where my coach pulled me from the game because I was hurting the team more than helping. My parents did not get in the coaches face. They challenged me to do better next game. Not because it was what they wanted, it was because this is something that I wanted.
Today, I'm able to speak to girls from a mentoring perspective while they learn the game of basketball. I'm also a guest coach at area camps. I'm a very accomplished and decorated basketball player and coach. Multiple All Catholics, MVPs, All-time Leading Scorer at Nardin, State Champion, Division I Basketball 4 year Scholarship Awardee, and 2 time Class B Champion as a Coach. Most recently I was inducted into the Nardin Athletic Hall of Fame. For me, I have accomplished everything that I set out to do. The next step in my life is show a little girl that she can be anything that she wants to be. Play any sport that she wants to play. But if she is going to do so, she better do it! Mediocrity is not an option, and the onus falls on you.
Although, I fear that I will lose the knowledge of the game as it's every changing, I will never lose my passion.
Thanks for sharing this.
Even when we are exceptional (or maybe because we are), there will be those who wish us ill will.
I’ll glad you have maintained your integrity and have decided to do what is best for you.