Out of Bounds

When the last whistle blows, what's next?

I am a former Division I Basketball Athlete

I started playing basketball at the young age of 6. I remember sitting on the bleachers in the after school program at Gloria J. Parks Community Center. While the girls had to go in one room and paint, color, and draw, my 5’3 stature would sneak into the gym with the boys, pick up a ball, and just play. I didn’t know any of the rules to the game, but I saw how the boys had so much fun. I begged by dad to play basketball. Now, at the time I was a dancer (tap, jazz, and ballet), and I also played piano at one of the most prestigious schools in WNY, Community Music School. I enjoyed both, but there was something about basketball. After picking up a basketball from time to time at the gym, I finally asked my dad to teach me how to play. He said,

“Well, I don’t know. Basketball is more mental than physical, and I don’t know if you are ready for it”

I didn’t know what that meant at the time. I just shrugged my shoulders and said OK. I’m ready! Time had progressed and I was still dancing, playing piano, dabbled a little in soccer, and was still playing basketball. By the time I was 12, I stood 6’0 tall and was in the 8th grade (I skipped a grade, shhh, we’re not going to go there). I told my dad I was seriously ready to play basketball. So, my dad signed me up for AAU and various camps around the area. I remember during one AAU tournament, I was pulled over to the side by one parent who told me,

“You will never play D1, D2, or D3, stop wasting your time and my daughter’s time.”

Retrospectively, I WAS 6’0, goofy, and had extreme lack of coordination. But you know what, those words fueled me for the rest of my basketball career.

I attended Nardin Academy, an all-girls school here in Buffalo, NY. I started my freshman year at 13 years old and graduated at 16. During my high school years, I achieved many accolades including All WNY First Team, All Catholic, and All State, but this would have not been possible without 5am workout sessions with my dad, coupled with a track career. With all my efforts and countless talks with my dad, I received 19 NCAA D1 scholarship offers and attended Colgate University on a full ride. As a D1 athlete, no one can prepare you for what is ahead. Preseason and postseason consisted of 5am workouts, 8am individual workouts, classes throughout the day, 4pm lifting session, and team pickup. Countless hours on the road during the season, taking tests on the road, and how about the fact you are a student? Now, I’m not complaining. I definitely have been blessed. But you had to be mentally prepared for this lifestyle.

Age 20. I graduated with a Political Science degree from Colgate University. I was equipped for the world, right? I had a degree to prove it! Well, the first 3 years, I had to adjust to the “real world”, which was hard and no one seemed to understand. I woke up most mornings for the first year in a panic that I was going to miss a 5am practice. I had to sit at a desk for 40 hours a week.

And this body, I didn't recognize it!

So why am I starting this blog. Student athletes are taught to persevere, be mentally and physically tough, be accountable, and weakness its not an option. This should translate into life after sports. Well, in some cases, like my own, it did not. I am now 28 years old and I am just now adjusting to a “normal” life. I use air quotes because normal is how you define it. I have a great job (still adjusting to sitting 40 hours a week), I’m focused on volunteer work and mentoring, and I’m no longer suffering from the anxiety and depression that developed post college life.

I also started this blog to let former student athletes know you are not alone. What you are feeling is normal. You will see posts and stories from former student-athletes who's paths and views are the same and different from my own. We will share our success stories and our struggles. Be ready for open, real, and raw conversations.

Stay tuned for more to come.